Kris Rowley...Red Sky at Night

Artist: Kris Rowley
Song: Red Sky at Night

Some of these “Five for Fighting” sound-alikes are headache inducers. But in “Red Sky at Night”, Kris Rowley is more than original and talented enough to not be cast that way. He doesn’t try too hard and is smooth enough to sell it. The song is gentle and the message is gentle and the mood is settled. Are the vocals manipulated? Sure, but who isn’t twisting their vocal cords these days? But he is no candidate for my new surgical procedure I am working on where I fish a moderate-sized hook down one’s throat and…slip…hook…yank! remove all remnants of one’s vocal cords in a process I will call a James Blunt-ectomy (man James Blunt makes my arteries collapse). No…this is a mellow song and a good one at that. Was it a spiritual experience? No. But it was quite entertaining. Just as it will be when James Blunt attempts to shriek out his first pain-riddled “You’re Beautiful” post his successful James Blunt-ectomy.

Here is the song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WL3Qv4R2Q-M

Professor Hill gives this song: A-

Tom Milsom...Why I Shouldn't Have Let You In

Artist: Tom Milsom

Song: Why I Shouldn't Have Let You In

I decided to review this song because I hammered Tom a few months ago. At his request I will review “Why I Shouldn’t Have Let You In”. Sometimes people read a review of a song and feel I am attacking the musician…and they are right!

I can confidently say that I would not purchase a Tom Milsom album. With that confidently said, this song is catchy and well done, and a little rare (can I get a rim shot?). Tom can work a uke like Sparky can a magic piano. This is a very strategically arranged song and the lyrics are superlative. There can be no doubt that Tom is talented and a crack better than most youtubing original artists. If the band “Space” is looking for some new material, they oughts to get in contact with Tom. This song would sell an ipod in England faster than you can say “The redcoats are coming!” While that sounds like a compliment, if you have heard the swill that plays during an ipod commercial you’d rethink it.

So what am I saying here?..congrats Tom, you don’t suck. This song is fun and the lyrics are jaunty. Is it the stuff that makes one a legend? If by legend you mean worth listening to while a caper scene of landlord chasing tenant and ensuing bobbies through hallways at 1.5 reel speed screens on your telly then my answer is a previously equaled in confident-ness “YES!”

Here is the song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qjSXOuPIII

Professor Hill gives this song: B+

Alex Chudnovsky...Voice

Artist: Alex Chudnovsky
Song: Voice

Yes, yes, yes, keep going, and…that’s it? No, these are not the words of a disappointed lover. They are the words of one listening to “Voice” by Alex Chudnovsky. As you may have guessed, this song cannot climax. Maybe it needs a magical blue pill in the form of a band or electric instrumentation. Maybe Alex was worried the song would last more than four hours and he would have to consult his physician and therefore gave us a two minute snippet (hey, at least he lasted two minutes). Anyway…whatever his sexu…er…musical frustrations, this song is YouTube worthy only (see Job 38:11).

But Alex is an otherwise very good musician, so don’t let this be the only song of his you take in. Check out his classical guitar stuff…very good stuff. But this review is, unfortunately, for his sad wayward escapade into rock.

This song has since been removed from YouTube...any guesses as to why?

Professor Hill gives this song: D+

Reina Del Cid...Come Back Over

Artist: Reina Del Cid
Song: Come Back Over

If Dinty Moore made lyrical stew instead of his vomitous blend of mushy beef and vegetables, he would have to reference Reina Del Cid’s “Come Back Over” as the recipe, using only the finest ingredients. Okay, so that’s a little cheesy, but Reina Del Cid scores big with this song. However, the song, like many of Reina’s, does test the lowest range of her vocals. It may be a bit too low and the quality of the recording may play into that. But you forget that slight setback, knowing that she prefers that low range and the emotion it toils. The video also shows Reina’s ability to connect even looking into a camera, unlike so many YouTube artists who are as colorful as the eggshell white paint that adorns their pre-pubescent, Jonas Brothers clad walls. This song is not Del Cid’s best, but it does reveal her nature as a talented artist. It is also a fan favorite scoring over half a million hits, thanks to its being featured on YouTube in October 2008.

“Now I have taken up the fashion That you hated with a passion And the clothes I buy Just never make me calm I don't need 'em, but I keep 'em I feel lost in all this freedom Oh I miss the cozy prison of our home”

Here is the song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Gn5r8wVWgU

Professor Hill gives this song: A-

Kris Rowley...Adrian

Artist: Kris Rowley
Song: Adrian

Attention filmmakers: If you are looking for a song to play quietly in the background while your male lead walks out of a lonely field contemplating life and love with his now lost should’a could’a would’a female lead from the camera vantage point through an autumn weathered oak tree prior to rolling credits, have I got a suggestion for you. “Adrian” makes use of some simple rhymes, but makes it work on a reasonable level. I’m sure Kris poured his soul out in this song, but for most of us it’s just a decent song. I imagine Kris is a big “Scrubs” fan and just thought he’d have a poke at songs that wrap things up. He wisely keeps the guitar light and simple and allows emotion to carry the song. But this emotion is probably only good for three minutes tops. Three thirty-nine? What are we emotional camels? By the way YouTubers, I’m claiming the rights to the name “Emotional Camels” so back off.

Here is the song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLu0CcqVG_U

Professor Hill gives this song: B-

Marie Digby...Unfold

Artist: Marie Digby
Song: Unfold

This song is written and performed on YouTube by Marie Digby who, apparently, has some recordings in the works. But let’s face it, she’s on YouTube so she’s still looking for a musical friend. Marie has a sweet and talented voice. And this song, supposedly a particular favorite of hers, never emotionally takes off as much as she would like it to. But the lyrics are genuine although her application to real life may not be. The song is about her frustrations in shutting people out. In my experience, self proclaimed introverts are nothing more than attention vacuums shedding a tear. But if Marie is willing to drop the autobiographical claims to “Unfold” and just call it a coming of age song, I’ll buy that story…but probably not an album full of it. Thanks for sharing Marie, look forward to more of your music.

DO NOT listen to this song while driving. You will fall aslepeijjijadpiuujzklzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…….

Here is the song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0F3Rm8c3wP0

Professor Hill gives this song: B

Andy McKee...Drifting

Artist: Andy McKee
Song: Drifting

It should first be explained that I could easily write a good review based on the fact that Andy McKee could kick my sorry ass. Have you seen this guy? But I won’t. I will be 100% honest in my review of the Incredible Hulk’s original acoustic piece “Drifting”.

In “Drifting”, as well as all of his original songs, Andy McKee bitchslaps the guitar Gods and says, “Betcha’ didn’t know this could be done with this thing.” I mean, Hendrix is seriously watching this guy and saying, “Hmmm…never thought of that.” Of course, absolute domination of a musical instrument does not mean you know how to write a good tune with it. But Andy certainly does. Having this guy on YouTube must make some of these other “artists” feel like a glutinous wildebeest trudging across the Serengeti during the great fasting of the Lions. Slash!...Riipp!..Crunch…”Suck it wildebeest!”

With no lyrics, “Drifting” is left to open interpretation and evaluation. No matter where it takes you personally, it will be one of the most musically supernatural experiences you will encounter. The melody is smooth and, dare I say, enchanting. Personally, it’s going on my iPod and with me on one of my backpacking trips.

Thank you, Andy, for sharing your transcendent gift with all of us. And please don’t kick my ass.

Here is the song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ddn4MGaS3N4

Professor Hill gives this song: A+

Tom Milsom...Indigo

Artist: Tom Milsom
Song: indigo

I severely hope this guy is British. With teeth like that and an in-and-out accent, who knows. But this is not about his appearance, it is about his original song “Indigo”. If all of the mediocre (and they were all mediocre) artists of the eighties had their synthesizers ripped from their tasseled cutoff gloved hands and were given Casio keyboards to wow the world, the result would be “Indigo”. It would also be middling dung. Tom also spends a fair amount of time in the flatzone. I know, I know…It’s his song and he’s the artist and he can sing it any way he wants to. But try this one…do more than one take and post the best one on YouTube. But I will be nice to Tom; the song does have an artsy quality and a pleasant overtone. If “Indigo” were in a baseball lineup it’d be batting in the seven spot…not the worst hitter on the squad, but you don’t stop your Magic: The Gathering tournament and rush into the family room and expect to see him hit one out of the park, eh Tom…You know what I mean man!

Here is the song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AgmR9D6jpQQ

Professor Hill gives this song: C+

Tay Zonday...Chocolate Rain

Artist: Tay Zonday
Song: Chocolate Rain

“** I move away from the mic to breathe in” says it all. For those of you who felt the void in your meaningless lives that could only be filled by a Webster look-alike singing about one of the most boring and overused topics while practically belching out tired “woe is me” lyrics, “Chocolate Rain” is your liberator (and apparently there are some thirty million of you). For the rest of us, the song is pure, unadulterated diarrhea. The problem with video, Mr. Zonday, is WE CAN SEE YOU; and there are some of us who know how vocal presentation works. Anyone who has to twist their tongue and sing out of the side of their mouth is either suffering from a stroke, or manipulating his voice so people won’t make the connection that he is Steve Urkel reincarnated. And I just love when twenty-something black men spin their tales of racism. Tell me Tay, did you sing “Chocolate Rain” when you marched with Dr. King? As a white male who was born, like Tay here, into a racially apologetic society I say, “Ho-Hum.”

But I can’t disregard the fact that Tay Zonday does have an ability to make something a little like music. And even though he seems to be auditioning for the role of Darth Vader post Mr. Jones, he can sing a bit. That makes him a better original artist than half the doinks on YouTube.

Here is the song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwTZ2xpQwpA

Professor Hill gives this song: D

David Choi...That Girl

Artist: David Choi
Song: That Girl

Type “original artist” into your YouTube search field and your first hit is “That Girl” by David Choi. David has built up quite a following on the net, and isn’t retched. That girl is a decent song, but should stay put in a virtual world. I get the feeling that, while holding his cell phone high in the air in an act of sheer worship at an N’Sync concert, Choi felt inspired to go home and bang out this little ditty. It will play on your seventh-grade emotions, but no more. He handles is instrument (snigger , snigger) well enough, and almost hits all of his notes…almost. Don’t be fooled by his sporty visor, this song is country through and through; so that visor should be a Honkey Tonkin’ cowboy hat. But it’s a tolerable song and Choi is tolerable until the video stops and your left with a very punchable image of Choi sitting on his, undoubtedly Star Trek clad, bed. Okay, I suppose he’s at his desk…but you get the idea.
Yeeeee-Haaaaaw!

Here is the song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lnio-pqLPgg
Professor Hill gives this song: B-

Reina Del Cid...Emily (I Need To Ask You)

Artist: Reina Del Cid
Song: Emily (I Need To Ask You)

In “Emily”, the refreshing Reina Del Cid shows us why everyone keeps asking, “Where is this girl’s contract?” Reina presents a song that reminds one of John Mayer, without the fake vocal manipulation and sophomoric lyrics. Her vocals are haunting but very genuine and real. Like a pre-sellout Jewel, Del Cid easily convinces us that she is a regular person with a poetic take on an, at times, awkward life. Reina’s music reminds us of what can happen when good people make good music. And for the wayward soul who feels that the radio has betrayed them with a constant stream of unembroidered manure, this artist seems to say, “Come back and see what music can do.” By the way, you must prepare for days of constant cerebral playback when you hear this song. But it is worth every satisfying loop!

Oh, and “But we're getting close to the end of the rope where my needs and my conscience collide” is a gorgeous line.

Here is the song:
http://sortr.com/youtube_play.php?id=LLAwpINKtfA&v=emily
Professor Hill gives this song: A+