Andy McKee...Drifting

Artist: Andy McKee
Song: Drifting

It should first be explained that I could easily write a good review based on the fact that Andy McKee could kick my sorry ass. Have you seen this guy? But I won’t. I will be 100% honest in my review of the Incredible Hulk’s original acoustic piece “Drifting”.

In “Drifting”, as well as all of his original songs, Andy McKee bitchslaps the guitar Gods and says, “Betcha’ didn’t know this could be done with this thing.” I mean, Hendrix is seriously watching this guy and saying, “Hmmm…never thought of that.” Of course, absolute domination of a musical instrument does not mean you know how to write a good tune with it. But Andy certainly does. Having this guy on YouTube must make some of these other “artists” feel like a glutinous wildebeest trudging across the Serengeti during the great fasting of the Lions. Slash!...Riipp!..Crunch…”Suck it wildebeest!”

With no lyrics, “Drifting” is left to open interpretation and evaluation. No matter where it takes you personally, it will be one of the most musically supernatural experiences you will encounter. The melody is smooth and, dare I say, enchanting. Personally, it’s going on my iPod and with me on one of my backpacking trips.

Thank you, Andy, for sharing your transcendent gift with all of us. And please don’t kick my ass.

Here is the song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ddn4MGaS3N4

Professor Hill gives this song: A+

Tom Milsom...Indigo

Artist: Tom Milsom
Song: indigo

I severely hope this guy is British. With teeth like that and an in-and-out accent, who knows. But this is not about his appearance, it is about his original song “Indigo”. If all of the mediocre (and they were all mediocre) artists of the eighties had their synthesizers ripped from their tasseled cutoff gloved hands and were given Casio keyboards to wow the world, the result would be “Indigo”. It would also be middling dung. Tom also spends a fair amount of time in the flatzone. I know, I know…It’s his song and he’s the artist and he can sing it any way he wants to. But try this one…do more than one take and post the best one on YouTube. But I will be nice to Tom; the song does have an artsy quality and a pleasant overtone. If “Indigo” were in a baseball lineup it’d be batting in the seven spot…not the worst hitter on the squad, but you don’t stop your Magic: The Gathering tournament and rush into the family room and expect to see him hit one out of the park, eh Tom…You know what I mean man!

Here is the song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AgmR9D6jpQQ

Professor Hill gives this song: C+

Tay Zonday...Chocolate Rain

Artist: Tay Zonday
Song: Chocolate Rain

“** I move away from the mic to breathe in” says it all. For those of you who felt the void in your meaningless lives that could only be filled by a Webster look-alike singing about one of the most boring and overused topics while practically belching out tired “woe is me” lyrics, “Chocolate Rain” is your liberator (and apparently there are some thirty million of you). For the rest of us, the song is pure, unadulterated diarrhea. The problem with video, Mr. Zonday, is WE CAN SEE YOU; and there are some of us who know how vocal presentation works. Anyone who has to twist their tongue and sing out of the side of their mouth is either suffering from a stroke, or manipulating his voice so people won’t make the connection that he is Steve Urkel reincarnated. And I just love when twenty-something black men spin their tales of racism. Tell me Tay, did you sing “Chocolate Rain” when you marched with Dr. King? As a white male who was born, like Tay here, into a racially apologetic society I say, “Ho-Hum.”

But I can’t disregard the fact that Tay Zonday does have an ability to make something a little like music. And even though he seems to be auditioning for the role of Darth Vader post Mr. Jones, he can sing a bit. That makes him a better original artist than half the doinks on YouTube.

Here is the song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwTZ2xpQwpA

Professor Hill gives this song: D

David Choi...That Girl

Artist: David Choi
Song: That Girl

Type “original artist” into your YouTube search field and your first hit is “That Girl” by David Choi. David has built up quite a following on the net, and isn’t retched. That girl is a decent song, but should stay put in a virtual world. I get the feeling that, while holding his cell phone high in the air in an act of sheer worship at an N’Sync concert, Choi felt inspired to go home and bang out this little ditty. It will play on your seventh-grade emotions, but no more. He handles is instrument (snigger , snigger) well enough, and almost hits all of his notes…almost. Don’t be fooled by his sporty visor, this song is country through and through; so that visor should be a Honkey Tonkin’ cowboy hat. But it’s a tolerable song and Choi is tolerable until the video stops and your left with a very punchable image of Choi sitting on his, undoubtedly Star Trek clad, bed. Okay, I suppose he’s at his desk…but you get the idea.
Yeeeee-Haaaaaw!

Here is the song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lnio-pqLPgg
Professor Hill gives this song: B-

Reina Del Cid...Emily (I Need To Ask You)

Artist: Reina Del Cid
Song: Emily (I Need To Ask You)

In “Emily”, the refreshing Reina Del Cid shows us why everyone keeps asking, “Where is this girl’s contract?” Reina presents a song that reminds one of John Mayer, without the fake vocal manipulation and sophomoric lyrics. Her vocals are haunting but very genuine and real. Like a pre-sellout Jewel, Del Cid easily convinces us that she is a regular person with a poetic take on an, at times, awkward life. Reina’s music reminds us of what can happen when good people make good music. And for the wayward soul who feels that the radio has betrayed them with a constant stream of unembroidered manure, this artist seems to say, “Come back and see what music can do.” By the way, you must prepare for days of constant cerebral playback when you hear this song. But it is worth every satisfying loop!

Oh, and “But we're getting close to the end of the rope where my needs and my conscience collide” is a gorgeous line.

Here is the song:
http://sortr.com/youtube_play.php?id=LLAwpINKtfA&v=emily
Professor Hill gives this song: A+